


Twice the Trouble

by aj_linguistik



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga), ソードアート・オンライン - 川原礫 | Sword Art Online - Kawahara Reki
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, Pregnancy, RIP this is the strangest idea but im laughing at how weird it is, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, bear with me please, i have to write this shit with a straight face help, im between this is cute and this is strange, thanks to Ami and Taylor for this monster yall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2020-11-08 00:29:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20826350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aj_linguistik/pseuds/aj_linguistik
Summary: Seriously, how did they miscommunicate THIS bad? They had most of the facts down and everything: they wanted to try for a baby. They needed artificial insemination to do it. It was discussed. It was on the table. Everything was going smoothly.So why...why did they BOTH test positive?





	1. We're Just That Bad at Sharing Information

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: You know, I was pitched a crack fanfic idea a little while back and it was basically this- take your chaotic pregnant Kirito from VLC and your hungry baby pregnant Eugeo from Rosebud and force them to be stuck together because GOD THAT WOULD BE A MESS. And since I've clearly fallen victim to my obvious nature...which is apparently well-received...I am JUST caffeinated enough to write this but over-caffeinated to the point I couldn't write my serious stuff. 
> 
> This is mostly a joke. But if you A) enjoy this joke or B) just like the idea and actually find it cute/funny- welcome to me being weird.

There’s a fine line between communication and _good_ communication, I’ve come to realize. Eugeo and I are very good at communicating. We don’t normally hide things from one another unless it’s, like, a birthday or holiday surprise of some sort. Or maybe a surprise date—I’m always down for that kind of a secret, though, because that always ends up really cute. But sometimes we just have our moments where we miscommunicate something or don’t emphasize enough what’s going on and we end up staring at one another saying something along the lines of…

“We’re morons. Absolute morons.”

“Eugeo, that’s a bit harsh.”

“Kirito…Kirito, think about this for a second. We are _idiots._ On a list of really stupid things we could have pulled, this one was very close to the top and we didn’t even previously think it was a possible stupid stunt to pull.”

“On the bright side—”

“_Kirito._”

Maybe some background is necessary. We’ve been together for several years. After a bit of talking, we decided we wanted to have a kid. So far, so good, right? Well, it’s impossible for us to conceive naturally—we’re _both_ trans men, so if we wanted to actually have a baby, we’d have to do it by means of artificial insemination. Which…you think it’d be a no-brainer on how to deal with _that_.

No, no it was not.

Like the absolutely brilliant communicators we are (sarcasm), instead of discussing who should attempt this first, we both got the hare-brained idea to do it at the exact same time. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking—how did you two make THAT mistake? I think it was one of those innocently well-meaning surprise things. “Hey, guess what I did? Let’s hope we’re lucky!” And then next thing you know, you’re in our current predicament.

“I’m going to call Alice.”

“DO NOT!”

“Kirito, I have to, someone has to know what we’ve done—”

“Look, look, it’s not as bad as it seems, let’s just be rational. We can’t just tell someone yet. What if something happens? Then we panicked for nothing. Right?”

Eugeo slumped down on the floor and buried his face in his hands. I knelt down in front of him and grasped his arms. He fell forward onto me unexpectedly. I gently rubbed his back. He shook his head.

“What are the odds?” he mumbled.

I chuckled.

“Now we know we have to talk this sort of thing over next time,” I said.

He lifted his head up and he gave me a look.

“_Next time_?” he said. “Kirito, if these store-bought tests are right, there’s not going to be a next time! We already have two kids!”

Now that he put it that way, it felt more stressful than before. He was right. That wasn’t a joke I should be making. If we were both expecting, we already had two kids. That was a weird thought. I put a hand to my belly, frowned, and then reached over and touched my other hand to his. There was no way.

“Still, before we get too worked up, let’s see a doctor,” I said.

He nodded.

“It’s possible one of us tested and got a false positive,” I said. “Happens all of the time.”

Eugeo let out a nervous laugh.

“And if neither of us got a false positive?” he said.

I ruffled his hair.

“It’ll be stressful, but I’d still be happy,” I said. “It’s a two-for-one deal, right?”

Eugeo laughed and shook his head.

“No, that would be twins,” he said.

He looked scared for a moment.

“I hope to god we’re not both pregnant with twins…”

“Don’t you dare jinx us…”

* * *

_Eight weeks later…_

Our lounging spot of choice was in the shared living space. We shared a three-bedroom townhouse with Asuna, Alice, Sinon, and Lisbeth, having two people to a bedroom. Eugeo was sitting upright on the couch while I was using his lap as a pillow. He had a book in his hands and was snacking on some chocolate-covered almonds. I went for a less healthy snack, a family-sized bag of potato chips. I shoved a few in my mouth. He gave me a look.

“Okay, which one of you bought _three_ jars of caramel sauce?” Alice asked, marching into the room.

I raised my eyebrows.

“Eugeo did it.”

“I did NOT!”

Alice rolled her eyes.

“Guys, we don’t need three of these,” she said. “Also, would you care to explain which of you keeps waking me up at four AM by throwing up? Who’s sick? Go to the doctor, please.”

Eugeo and I shared an uneasy look. Once again, I came to the rescue with a brilliant answer to her question.

“It’s all him.”

“Kirito, I will claim that bag of chips if you don’t behave.”

I pouted.

“But, dear—”

He shook his head.

“Alice, Kirito will probably use that caramel sauce for something in the near future,” he said. “I hate to imagine what, but he insisted he needed it yesterday when he bought it. It’ll be out of your hair in no time. And also, ignore the vomiting.”

She gave us both a look, but she rolled her eyes and walked out, accepting his answer. I sat up. Eugeo frowned at me. I leaned up against him, shoving more chips in my mouth as I did so. We’d done what he had to and gone to get official tests from doctors. After swallowing the fact that, yes, we were both pregnant, we went back and forth over the specifics of who we should tell and when. Obviously, we told our parents. But our housemates didn’t know yet.

“I feel a little bad not telling them,” Eugeo said.

I hummed.

“Yeah, but I still don’t want to cause mass panic and then have to explain the situation until after we’ve both definitely passed the miscarriage point,” I said, matter-of-factly.

We hadn’t done this at the _exact_ same time. I’d been about two weeks ahead of him, but he’d told me what he’d done first, not being as patient as me to make a surprise comment out of it, I guess. So, I’d hit the daunting fourteen-week mark in two weeks, while he would hit it in four weeks. I think while we noted this out loud a lot, neither of us really wanted to make life easier if it meant one of us had to miscarry.

I wrapped my arms around him and tucked my head into the crook of his shoulder. He leaned his head against mine. I hoped no one would suspect anything if they walked in the room. I rested one hand on his belly and hummed. A smile tugged at the edges of his lips. He lifted his book to keep reading. I picked up my head and kissed him on the jawline.

“It’s a crazy situation, but I do hope for the best for both of them,” I said quietly.

Eugeo hummed.

“Me, too,” he said.

He set down his book and turned to me. He nodded for me to get comfier. I crawled into his lap, straddling his waist, and cuddled up against his front for a moment. I ended up sitting back up to lock lips with him. I ran my fingers through his hair. With our fronts pressed together like this, I had a funny thought and giggled.

“What?” he asked.

I touched my nose to his.

“Our babies are close enough to touch, but they’re still very small and only really able to hug because we’re hugging,” I said.

He laughed.

“You’re so weird sometimes,” he said. “But that’s kind of cute. In a roundabout way. Hopefully, some day they’ll be able to hug each other without having us as a barrier.”

I nodded.

“I know they will,” I said. 


	2. We’re Trying Hard to Keep Secrets But It’s Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don't know why my brain said "Crack fic: let's make some long-ass isekai titles for chapters!" Hrrrmmmppphaskdfjadgaldg.

Bad overlapping symptoms probably only applies to morning sickness. I mean, sure, our appetites seemed to increase a little, but at least we could both eat at the same time. Sharing a toilet to throw up in, however, was a bit of a pain in the ass. Fortunately, I didn’t throw up nearly as much as Eugeo. I gently rubbed his back as he spewed his guts out at three in the morning. He gave me a tired look.

“I don’t get it…” he said. “Why aren’t you throwing up this much?”

It almost sounded like a jealous pout. I shrugged and patted his back.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “You think you’re done?”

He nodded at me. I flushed the toilet, helped him get up, and then helped him clean himself up. When he was finally fresh and clean again, he just turned to me and flopped against me. I hugged him and played with his hair. He stepped back from me and frowned down at me. I blinked at him.

“You gonna puke again?” I asked.

Instead of responding, he reached out and smoothed my shirt down over my belly. Even as tired as he was, he smiled. He flopped back over on me and wrapped his arms around my neck. I kissed the crown of his head.

“You’re showing,” he said. “We’re going to have to tell everybody soon.”

I laughed.

“Two more weeks,” I said. “By then, maybe you’ll have a little bump, too.”

He hummed. He was too sleepy to probably think much about that. I steered him back to our bedroom and helped him crawl back into bed. He was out in minutes. I sighed and rolled onto my back. I placed my hands on my belly and had to agree with Eugeo. There was a bit of a curve that wasn’t there before. I smiled. I rolled over and snuggled up against him, content.

Hours later, we were up making breakfast in the kitchen. Eugeo still looked pretty tired. He didn’t even bother to make a bowl of cereal—he just picked up the box and started dumping it in his mouth. I chuckled and munched on a breakfast sandwich. Asuna walked into the kitchen right as Eugeo was dumping cereal in his mouth and she gave him a funny look.

“Easy there,” she said, laughing.

“Morning!” I said. “Did you sleep okay?”

She shook her head.

“Which one of you was up at god-knows-when retching?” she asked. “It went on for an hour or so. Are you okay?”

“He puked way more than I did,” I said, leaning back in my chair. “I’m considering asking the doctor. Look at him, he’s miserable.”

Asuna lifted one eyebrow.

“He looks fine aside from the strange choice of dumping all of the Apple Jacks in his mouth,” she said. “You, on the other hand…”

I pointed a finger at myself. She nodded.

“You’ve put on weight,” she said. “Are you feeling okay?”

The struggle of telling the truth versus waiting until Eugeo was ready to tell her in two weeks tugged at my chest. I looked over at him. He lowered the cereal box and raised his eyebrows at me as if to tell me that it was my decision, not his. I shifted uneasily in my chair.

“Have I?” I asked.

She nodded. I looked down at my belly and pressed my hand against it. My intention had been to play dumb, but I couldn’t help but smile stupidly. The bump that Eugeo had pointed out earlier was more obvious than I’d thought. Asuna raised her eyebrows.

“Oh…my god…” she said. “Are you…are you _pregnant_?”

Eugeo tried to hide a laugh. He messed that up by knocking more cereal onto his face. I ended up laughing at him. He set the box down and gave me a serious look. I put my free hand up in defeat.

“Sorry, Eugeo,” I said.

“Kirito, I’m serious!” Asuna said. “Are you?”

Eugeo waved his hands at me. I gave him a funny look. He huffed.

“Okay, fine,” he said. “_I’m_ pregnant.”

Asuna whirled around and blinked at him. I stared at him, a little shocked. We’d agreed to tell them _after _ he’d reached his fourteen-week mark, but he was all too eager to show me up in this moment. Asuna glanced back at me and pointed at my hand against my little bump.

“But…” she said.

I nodded.

“Yeah,” I said. “You’re not wrong.”

She turned her head back and forth between the two of us. It was as if she were trying to figure out which one of us was pulling her leg. Eugeo picked the box back up and practically stuffed his face in it to get the last little bits of cereal into his mouth. Asuna turned to me and frowned.

“Okay, I know that’s a lot for you to process,” I said. “But we aren’t lying. Some…miscommunications happened. We’re both expecting.”

“B-both of you?” she stammered.

I nodded.

“How…long…have you…?” she trailed off.

“I’m at fourteen weeks,” I said nonchalantly. “Eugeo’s at twelve.”

Taking a deep breath, she took a step back and leaned against the counter.

“For the record, he pukes _way_ more than I do,” I said.

I walked over to Eugeo and gave him a hug. He dropped his cereal box again and hugged me back. We both faced Asuna with stupid grins and reached over to put a hand on the other’s belly. She looked absolutely shell-shocked.

“How do you miscommunicate THIS bad?” she said. “I have to witness both of you going through hormonal nonsense at the same time!”

“Yep!” I said.

“Think of how _we_ feel,” Eugeo said.

I nodded emphatically. I’m sure he was talking about the stress. With both of us expecting at the same time, we’d have twice the expenses, twice the messes, twice the crying—and the possibility of us both going into labor around the same time was enough to make both of us bang our heads on the wall just a little. But this was a great opportunity to be pulling jokes in front of Asuna.

“I mean, soon we’ll be unable to properly hug and cuddle,” I said dramatically. “Our bellies will be in the way! Oh, Eugeo—!”

Eugeo rolled his eyes and groaned.

“Is that the _real_ stressor here, Kirito?” he grumbled.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“No, dear, but it’s better to focus on the good things and the jokes than to worry about it,” I said.

Smiling at him, I rubbed his belly.

“Don’t stress out too much, okay?” I said. “It’s not good for the baby.”

I turned back to Asuna, making sure to keep my hand on Eugeo’s belly.

“I’m sorry to ask this, but could you keep this to yourself?” I asked. “We weren’t planning to tell everyone until he reached fourteen weeks. We just wanted to both be safely past the possible miscarriage stage before we made any announcements.”

Eugeo blushed a little and placed his hand on top of mine.

“Hey, don’t worry,” I told him. “I’m sure the baby’s gonna be fine.”

Asuna gave us both a nod.

“If you insist,” she said. “But please. If you’re both expecting, be careful.”

“We will be!” Eugeo said.

He looked so inspired by her words. I laughed and rested my head against his.

“Of course, we will be,” I said.


	3. We Encounter An Even Bigger Problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Max, I know you're reading this and your requests for this fic are so outrageous when I had to look up some information for it I had an entire moment of "Oh my GOD" so- Kirito, Eugeo; I'm so sorry boys. This crack fic is going to take that crack definition far and you will both hate me.

Something was definitely odd. Neither Eugeo nor I had given much of a thought to my weight gain other than “whoa, you have a bump!” when Asuna had caught on, but it only took a few more days before the others asked about my weight. And I couldn’t blame them at all—it was painfully obvious for someone who was only at sixteen weeks. Eugeo, who had just hit fourteen, still wasn’t even showing. He didn’t say anything about it, but he almost seemed a little disappointed that he still didn’t have a bump.

I frowned at myself in the mirror and started doing some mental math. There was no way I was further along than sixteen weeks. It just didn’t add up. But at this point, there was no denying it. I’d been trying to wear baggy shirts, but here in the bathroom, without a button-up tossed over me, I grimaced and clutched my belly.

“I’m not eating that much, am I?” I grumbled.

No more than Eugeo was. In fact, Eugeo seemed to have already turned into a total pig. I kept catching him shoving this, that, or the other item from the fridge into his mouth at odd times of the day. I sighed. This just didn’t make sense. I smoothed my shirt down and turned to my side. I made a face.

“I look like I’m more like five or six months along…” I muttered.

The door flew open behind me and I jumped. Cue Lisbeth staring at me with her mouth hanging open. She blinked a few times, slammed the door behind us, and then looked me up and down. Her eyes eventually rested on my belly.

“You know, when I asked about the weight gain and you said ‘oh, it’s fine!’ not once did I consider _this_,” she said.

She pointed a finger at my gut and struggled to spit out words.

“You’re _huge_!” she managed.

I frowned.

“Wow, that wasn’t very nice,” I muttered.

Ignoring me, she reached over and cupped my belly in her hands.

“You’re, like, six months pregnant!” she said. “How in the world did I miss that?”

I shook my head and laughed.

“Whoa, whoa, definitely not six months pregnant,” I said. “Well…I suppose it looks that way, but I swear to you that’s not the case. I must be so skinny that it’s really obvious. That’s all I can figure.”

Her eyes widened.

“Oh my god, it’s twins, isn’t it?” she said.

“I hope not!” I said. “We don’t need _three_ kids!”

Lisbeth’s head snapped up at me.

“Th-three?” she stammered.

There was a glazed-over look in her eyes for a moment, as if she were flashing back to Eugeo stuffing his face with something at random. The light bulb clearly went off, because she pointed in the direction of our room and gasped sharply. I put my hands up and tried to shush her. It didn’t work.

“EUGEO TOO?” she exclaimed.

The door snapped back open.

“Me too?”

“Oh, um…h-hi, Eugeo,” I said, awkwardly laughing.

Lisbeth blinked at him and looked at his belly. Eugeo frowned and turned a little red.

“Are you pregnant?!” she shouted.

“The entire apartment is going to hear you…” I grumbled.

Eugeo looked like he was about to answer, but he covered his mouth and shoved his way into the bathroom to throw open the toilet and puke. I glanced at Lisbeth. That basically answered her question. I got down beside him and patted his back. He whimpered.

“Lis here seems to think I look like I’m carrying twins,” I said.

In response, Eugeo threw up.

“Ah, yeah, that’s probably a scary thought,” I said.

He turned his head to look at me.

“You aren’t…are you?” he asked.

I shrugged.

“We’ll see at my appointment, now won’t we?” I said.

He did not look amused. Whether we liked it or not, though, the secret was out. Lisbeth dashed back into the main living area and must have told the others, because we got funny looks when we came back out of the bathroom. We then had to sit down and explain that yes, we were both expecting and no, we hadn’t meant to do that.

We were ever-so grateful to get away from our prying roommates and head over to the doctor’s office. When we walked into the receptionist, she smiled and giggled up at us as she handed us the clipboard to sign in. In so many words, we were the talk of the office—the gay trans couple who managed to get pregnant at almost the same time. They thought we were adorable or something, I guess.

“Look at you!” she said. “Eugeo, you’ve got some catching up to do!”

Eugeo looked embarrassed. He pressed his hands to his belly and frowned.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “Every baby’s different. Yours is just small or shy and doesn’t want to be seen just yet. Although…Kazuto have they caught another baby in there on your ultrasounds? You’ve gained quite a bit in the past few weeks.”

“R-really?” I stammered.

Eugeo and I shared a worried glance.

“We’ll see,” I said, nervously laughing.

With that making the second time someone thought that in one day, I waited for my appointment with a weird feeling in my gut. Eugeo must have caught onto my nervous feelings because he held my hand in the waiting room, then all the way back into the room to get my checkup. While I was waiting for the nurse to come back, laid out on the examination chair, he was still clutching my hand.

“You okay?” he asked.

I frowned.

“Do you think it’s twins?” I asked.

He glanced at my belly and chuckled.

“You are pretty round already,” he said. “I want to say that no, I don’t think that, but I get the feeling it has to be true. We really set ourselves up for a crazy situation. But I love our kids already. However many of them there are.”

He placed his hand on my belly.

“Unless it’s possible you’re just much further along than you think,” he said.

I shook my head.

“I told you when my appointment was,” I said. “There’s no other possible time it could have happened. We can’t make a baby naturally, so of course it had to be the day of the appointment.”

Eugeo shook his head.

“I didn’t mean to suggest you were cheating,” he said. “I just meant that maybe you got the date wrong on when you went to the clinic.”

“Oh…” I said.

He laughed. The nurse came back in and commented on my weight gain. She asked if I was intaking more calories than I should be, to which we both laughed and noted that Eugeo was managing to eat more than I was. She, too, asked to confirm the date I’d visited the clinic. I repeated it, nervously looking at my stomach.

“I’m sorry if these questions are bothering you,” she said. “It’s just hard to believe that your baby could be _this big_ considering the circumstances. I’m going to take a look and see what’s going on, okay?”

I nodded.

“Is it possible for a sixteen-week baby to be _that_ big?” Eugeo mumbled. “You’d need a c-section for sure.”

“Ugh, that would suck…” I said.

The nurse pulled up my shirt to take an ultrasound. She laughed.

“You really are big,” she said. “It’s even more obvious with your shirt pulled up. Let’s take a look, then.”

She pressed the machine against my belly and moved it around a bit.

“Oh…my god…” Eugeo said. “Tell me…this is a prank...”

I blinked at the screen and felt my stomach drop. A nervous chuckle escaped from my throat.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…” I said.

The nurse shook her head.

“No wonder you’re so big already,” she said, giggling. “What are the odds of that?”

Eugeo and I shared a look. He looked like he was about to faint. I told him to sit down. He did. As soon as his butt hit the chair, to no one’s surprise, he fainted on the spot. The nurse gasped and ran to get some water. I glanced over at my unconscious boyfriend and then back to my belly. I cupped the side of it with my hand and swallowed.

“We’re in trouble, Eugeo…” I said, laughing to myself.


	4. Proposing a Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope this fic doesn't get too incredibly long since it's just for the giggles of the Discord peoples egging me for more dweeby scenes. But we know how I am xD

“Well, the good news is—”

“No, no, no, don’t state it like that!” Eugeo said. “This is absolutely insane! You’re only sixteen weeks and look at you! You’re going to need a wheelchair by the end of this!”

I laughed and patted him on the back.

“Everything is going to be perfectly fine,” I said.

That was roughly our conversation when we’d left the clinic that day. We did a little bit of discussing our options. Things went from slightly out of hand to majorly out of hand with a few choice middle fingers from nature, but I think we were both still clinging to the will to try and stay positive about this experience. After all, at the end of the day, we were parents now. And it was our job to love our children, however numerous they may be.

The biggest challenge right now, however, was Eugeo’s appetite.

“Look, I’m the one who’s supposed to be taking in almost 5,000 calories a day,” I said, frowning at him as he stuffed another sandwich down his throat. “You gotta take it easy, buddy. Otherwise you’ll make yourself sick.”

Eugeo frowned at me and wiped off his face with a napkin. He slid a sandwich over to me and pointed at it, giving me a look. I sighed and picked it up.

“I don’t feel like I can fit another bite, man,” I grumbled.

“I’ve seen you eat more than this,” Eugeo grumbled.

He sounded grouchier than usual. He got up out of his chair and stretched. His shirt lifted up just enough to let his belly poke out. I reached over and slipped my cold hand up his shirt. He yelped a little and curled up a bit.

“_Kirito!_” he said. “Why did you do that?!”

I grinned at him.

“Couldn’t help myself,” I said. “Your little belly is so cute.”

Eugeo’s cheeks burned red. At eighteen weeks, he was finally showing a bit. He’d been a bit worried, since my gut had been obvious quite early on and his hadn’t, but now that he had a little bit of a bump, he seemed rather embarrassed about it. I chuckled and gently tickled his stomach. He frowned, then sat back down and reached over to press a hand to my belly.

I could feel how worried he was. I think the two weeks since we found out had been hard on him. But he was trying his hardest to see the brighter side of all of this. He rubbed his hand back and forth, and then he smiled. The worry faded away just a bit, suddenly replaced by a warmth I couldn’t put an emotion to. I smiled, too.

“You guys are getting big,” he said, chuckling.

I let out an awkward laugh.

“I already look like I’m going to pop,” I said. “Can you believe she said I’m going to have to go on bed rest soon already? I’m a bit worried.”

Eugeo hummed.

“But that’s statistics for you,” he said. “You could be in labor as soon as twenty-four weeks. I certainly hope not, but we have to prepare for the worst just in case.”

I hummed.

“Well, if we’re lucky, they’ll stay in for much longer than that!” I said, trying to sound optimistic.

Eugeo’s face scrunched up.

“You’re already huge; I don’t want to imagine if you miraculously make it to even thirty-six weeks,” he said. “Say…have you told our roommates, yet?”

I shook my head.

“Are you planning to tell them?” he asked.

I shrugged.

“Why not make it a guessing game?” I said.

Eugeo made another face.

“Kirito, I—”

I was quick to cut him off. His shoulders slumped a little.

“So, I was thinking that it would be a lot funnier if we just…didn’t say anything about multiples,” I said. “We can just keep them guessing. If they ask about it, play dumb. We can see if they can guess how many or not.”

There was a pained look in Eugeo’s eyes that told me he absolutely wanted nothing to do with this sort of game. But for me, I thought it was kind of fun keeping the others in the dark. They might guess according to when my body decided to go into labor, but until then, it was fun to see if they could guess or not.

“For the sake of your little ‘fun’ and for the health of our children, I hope you hang on as long as you can,” he said. “What’s the longest someone’s ever carried this many?”

I thought back to talking to my doctor.

“Around thirty-four weeks, but that was a rare instance,” I said. “The average is more like twenty-nine.”

Eugeo sighed.

“Please hit twenty-nine,” he said. “But either way, I’m worried.”

I hopped up to my feet and pulled him up with me.

“Nah, don’t be too worried,” I said. “It’ll stress you out. How about we go cuddle and put the thoughts of stress outside of our minds for a bit, hmm?”

He didn’t protest. I coaxed him over to the couch where we awkwardly snuggled up to each other. My belly was already proving an obstacle. But Eugeo expertly wrapped himself around me and tucked his head under mine. We lay there comfortably for a few minutes before I felt something funny in my belly. I moved my hand and pressed it to my bulging stomach.

“Is everything okay?” Eugeo asked.

I frowned and waited to answer. I thought about the sensation for a moment.

“I can feel them moving,” I whispered.

He moved his hand over next to mine and hummed.

“There’s a little party in your belly,” he said. “I hope some day soon, I can feel them moving too.”

Nodding, I reached back around him and cuddled him even closer to me. He patted my belly and then wrapped his arm around my waist. We had to enjoy this while it lasted. I hoped we wouldn’t have to deal with baby bumps interrupting our snuggles for too long. For now, I had to just enjoy this time of being close to him. I kissed the top of his head and smiled to myself.

We were going to make this work.


	5. A Little Guessing Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for going so slow. My situation has gotten very stressful. I know we're all in a stressful spot and a lot of us are bored at home, so I will try to post as much as I can given the stress I'm under at the moment. My communtes will only be to my retail job now, so I won't be at my school away from my writing spot as much. We'll see.

Eugeo got home at around three o’clock with a fast food bag full of fries. His appetite was getting extremely out of hand, and I wasn’t sure if it was due to the fact that he was simply just hungry or perhaps a result of stress. Our doctor had warned him that he was getting pretty stressed out, so he was being monitored for blood pressure issues just as frequently as I was. When he walked in the room, I turned my head to look at him and set my handheld game down.

“There you are!” I said. “You were gone forever!”

He sat his bag of fries on the table and came over to me. He shook his head and put his hands on his hips.

“How exactly do you plan on getting up from that position?” he asked.

I was lying on my back. It was a bad decision, really. The weight on my spine was making it uncomfortable. Eugeo offered me a hand, which I reluctantly took so he could pull me up into an upright position. He plopped down next to me and offered me some of his fries. I took a few and munched on them thoughtfully.

“Imagine if we lived somewhere where we needed a car to get anywhere,” I said.

Eugeo rolled his eyes and shoved more fries in his mouth.

“We have to pick out names, you know,” I said.

He almost choked on his fries.

“I mean…I’d thought about that but…you’re right…” he said, frowning.

He reached over and put his hand on my belly. With him, we had a lot more time to think about this. But I’d already hit the danger zone and was on bed rest. He had just barely passed the halfway mark and I was worried I wouldn’t make it much longer than this. I looked over at Eugeo. For as stressed as he was, I was happy to find him smiling while he felt all of the kicking going on in my belly.

Our alone time was cut extremely short when Alice came into the room. She plopped down across from us and turned the TV on without even blinking in our direction. For a solid five minutes, she ignored us as we assumed an awkward cuddling position to observe the television with her. Her silence was finally broken when she turned to us and marched over to hover over us like a mother hen very concerned about her chicks.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asked.

We glanced at one another.

“Which…which one of us?” Eugeo asked.

She nodded at me.

“Kirito,” she said. “You look so uncomfortable. Are you absolutely certain you’re only twenty-four weeks? I get the feeling we should be watching out just in case your water breaks…”

I had to stifle a laugh.

“Go ask my doctor,” I said. “It’s the truth.”

She frowned at me, clearly not wanting to trust my word on that. Her eyes rested on my belly. Her eyebrows knit together. I turned back to pay attention to the TV. Eugeo leaned up against me lazily. I glanced back at him and smiled. He had one hand resting on his belly. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“There’s more than one, isn’t there?” Alice asked.

I blinked up at her.

“More than one what?” I asked.

I probably deserved the sharp look I received for that.

“Baby!” she said. “Don’t play dumb!”

I chuckled and patted Eugeo’s stomach.

“Yep,” I said.

“No!” Alice said. “I refuse to put up with your nonsense, Kirito! You’re having multiples, aren’t you?”

I hummed, not sure if I should answer that. But, as I’d told Eugeo a couple of weeks before, I thought it would be funny to see if people could correctly guess the number of babies. I caught Eugeo staring down at my belly. I sighed.

“How many would you like to propose?” I asked.

Eugeo sucked his teeth.

“Kiritoooo…” he whined. “We talked about this.”

I held my finger up. I was truly curious for Alice’s answer, no matter what he has to say about it. I saw her eyebrows scrunch up as she thought about it. She pointed at my stomach and frowned.

“Permission to feel?” she asked.

I blinked at her.

“I don’t see how that’s going to help you guess, but permission granted,” I said.

Alice stooped down and started running her hands over my belly. At one point, she put her ear up to it. I told her that wasn’t going to help her either, to which she remarked my stomach was growling quite intensely. Eugeo picked up another thing of fries and started slipping them into my mouth. Alice grumbled and righted herself.

“There’s at least three in there,” she said, crossing her arms.

I raised my eyebrows.

“Is that your final answer?” I asked.

She huffed and turned her head away.

“Too unsure to answer?” I asked.

She went back over to the other couch and flopped down on it, choosing to ignore me. I laughed and shook my head. I patted Eugeo’s leg and told him I needed to get up to use the bathroom. He stopped leaning on me and perked up, ever vigilante just in case I needed his help. At first, I waved him off, but as soon as I took a step away from the couch, I felt pain at the base of my belly. I clutched the spot and bent forward a little. Eugeo and Alice both were on their feet in a flash.

“A-are you okay?” Alice asked.

Eugeo put one hand on my shoulder.

“Kirito?”

I nodded.

“I’m…I’m fine,” I said, awkwardly laughing. “Just a little cramp from all of this front weight.”

Both of them were giving me skeptical glances. I sighed.

“If it persists, I’ll let you know,” I said.

I squeezed Eugeo’s shoulders.

_I’m not letting them come just yet_, I silently told him.

His worried glance told me he didn’t believe me. To be honest, I wasn’t so sure that I believed me, either.


	6. Eugeo Really is a Clingy Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I paused writing to video call my professor and...I was sitting in the living room going OH MY GOD I DIDN'T WRAP UP MY CHAPTER ASKFJAKG. I wrapped it up now though, no worries.

At twenty-six weeks, I was asked to do a hospital stay. My amusement with staying at home and perplexing my roommates came to an abrupt end when the doctor decided she needed to monitor my condition as well as the babies’ conditions. At that point, Eugeo wasn’t the only one freaking out. I’d had to reassure them that this was just a precaution—I wasn’t in any medical danger at the moment; they just wanted to keep an eye on me.

He was in and out of the hospital as much as they’d let him. He often spent nights on a cot beside me, even though I kept telling him he should go home for a more comfortable sleep. After all, his belly was growing, too, playing a bit of catch-up to mine. Then again, once I’d hit twenty-eight weeks, there was no way Eugeo would be this big. I was contemplating that when he came in for his morning visit, this time trailed by Asuna and Alice.

“God, you’re _huge_,” Alice said.

She walked over to me and laughed as she rubbed my belly.

“Can you even stand up right now?” she asked.

I shrugged.

“For a little bit, yeah,” I said. “It hurts to lay down, it hurts to stand up, and it feels almost impossible to eat.”

Asuna frowned at me.

“Are you not hungry?” she asked.

I laughed.

“Oh, no, I’m very hungry,” I clarified. “But you try fitting a meal in this.”

I ran one hand down my belly.

“Nothing fits in here, not even the babies,” I said, laughing pathetically.

“I’m honestly shocked he hasn’t gone int labor yet,” Eugeo said. “But we’re hoping he’ll stay in the okay zone for at least another week. He’ll be even more miserable beyond that point.”

He reached down and grasped my hand. I squeezed it gently.

“Do you want to try and exercise your legs a little bit?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Just sitting here and being round is exhausting all on its own,” I grumbled.

The girls giggled at that. Eugeo held my hand with both of his as he helped me awkwardly get up to my feet. All of that front weight made me incredibly unbalanced. I put one hand under my belly and the other on Eugeo. He said we’d walk down to the cafeteria so I could get something in my system. Walking was difficult. Alice and Asuna stood to my side, opposite of Eugeo.

“The fact that you’re even able to still walk is something,” Alice said. “You’re going to need a wheelchair if you get any wider, though.”

All I could do was laugh and agree.

“Yeah, the doctor said if I get too heavy to support my own weight, they’ll definitely put me in a wheelchair if I want to move around and leave the room,” I said. “I think it’ll be fairly soon, too. I’ve gained about fifty-five pounds.”

Asuna’s eyes bugged at the number.

“But, Eugeo,” I continued. “How are you doing?”

He smiled at me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“The doctor said everything’s looking great!” he said. “I bet by now, you could probably feel the baby kicking, too! She’s been a little too small for you to feel so far, but I saw her move my belly the other day. I think if you’re patient, you’ll get to feel it.”

The thought made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It might have been silly. There were babies in my belly that I could feel moving any time of day. A normal person might wonder why I felt the need to try and feel Eugeo’s baby moving, too. But it made me feel a little more connected to her. I’m sure he felt the same way about the babies wiggling around inside of my gut, too.

“When we sit down, I’d love to give it a try,” I said.

He rubbed my back.

“Almost there, dear,” he said. “You’re doing an amazing job. It’s just around the corner.”

It felt like an eternity. I almost let out a sigh of relief when we turned into the cafeteria, but I wasn’t seated just yet. He helped me ease down onto a bench. I finally let out that sigh and straddled the bench. If I turned and sat on it properly, I wouldn’t be able to reach the table. Eugeo went and grabbed something he knew I would eat. He placed it down next to me and then sat behind me. I frowned over my shoulder at him.

“I wanna feel the kicks,” I whined.

He pointed to my tray of food.

“Get some calories in your and then we’ll let you feel her kicks,” he said.

Ever the slave driver. I grumbled and then did my best to nibble at the food. He probably didn’t yet understand just how little space was in my stomach. With the babies pushing against all of my internal organs, eating was difficult. I still had to intake about five thousand calories a day. Which meant my meals were pretty large. I forced myself to clear the whole tray, despite the discomfort, and then leaned back towards Eugeo, clutching my belly.

“I think I just expanded another meter…” I groaned.

He wrapped his arms around me and rested his hands on my belly. I could feel him smiling. He rubbed the top of my belly and kissed me on the cheek again. The babies moved around, probably sensing his touch. My irritation and discomfort seemed to melt away. I leaned my head against his.

“Awwe, look at that,” Alice said.

Asuna giggled.

“They’re adorable,” she said.

“Well, except for the fact that Kirito is the size of whale,” Alice said.

Asuna gasped.

“Don’t be rude!” she said.

I shrugged and patted the side of my belly.

“She’s not wrong,” I said, grimacing. “There has to be a couple of large watermelons in there. No, it _feels_ like I swallowed a few bowling balls. Calling me a whale isn’t so far-fetched.”

Asuna shook her head.

“Don’t talk like that, Kirito,” she said. “You look wonderful!”

I rolled my eyes. Asuna could somehow manage to turn anything into something nice. Eugeo let go of me, got off of the bench, and then came to stand beside me. He smiled and reached down to pick up my hand. He pressed it to his belly and grinned at me.

I could feel the little baby in his belly kicking excitedly. I couldn’t help but start to tear up. I leaned over as best as I could and planted a kiss on his bump. He was radiating happiness. I stroked his belly and sighed.

“Your big siblings are getting closer and closer to coming,” I said. “I don’t know how much longer I can last.”

Eugeo bent forward and spread his palm over my belly.

“You’re doing a good job,” he reassured me. “I can’t wait to meet them.”

I smiled up at him, trying not to cry.

“Me, either,” I said, laughing.

I just hoped they’d stay in there long enough to be healthy and strong.


	7. Impressive Timing, If I Do Say So Myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I was gonna post this yesterday but I stopped mid-chapter and just binged 10 episodes of an anime because of COVID-related stress. This is a crack fic but I'm totally serious; please wear a fucking mask and stay home if you're sick.

I was feeling like both the luckiest person alive and simultaneously the most miserable. According to the doctor looking at me now, they were currently making a decision on how to handle my situation. On the one hand, the babies were looking very healthy, but on the other, my own body was reaching its limit. The doctor finished looking at her ultrasound and came over to give me her verdict. As she left the room, I sighed and tried to adjust myself in the bed.

I picked up my phone and told Eugeo that I needed to speak with him in person when it was convenient. He’d left yesterday because he’d had an appointment he needed to make this morning. He hadn’t been back by the hospital yet. Eugeo responded with a very curt text that he was almost here. I sent him a teasing reply about texting and driving, even though I knew someone as responsible as him was likely sitting at a stoplight to send a message.

Eugeo, as promised, arrived in the room in less than thirty minutes. He came and sat down beside me, leaning over to give me a kiss on the lips. I ruffled his hair a bit and reached over to grasp his hand.

“How’s our little girl doing?” I asked.

He was practically beaming at me.

“She’s looking really good,” he said. “Although the doctor said all of those carbs she’s been making me crave are catching up to me.”

I chuckled and give him another kiss.

“That explains why your cheeks are filling out,” I teased.

He squeezed my hand.

“So, what was it you wanted to talk about?” he asked.

I sighed.

“They were hoping I would naturally go into labor,” I said. “But they’ve come to the conclusion that it’s just not going to. They’re impressed I hit thirty-three weeks, but they’re going to go ahead and schedule a C-section.”

Eugeo’s eyes widened.

“H-how soon?” he stammered.

I readjusted my grip on his hand.

“As soon as possible,” I said. “They said my blood pressure’s getting into the risky area. It’ll be in the next few days if I still don’t feel anything.”

Eugeo cast a worried glance at my belly. I rubbed the back of his hand with my thumb.

“Hey, they’re okay,” I said. “Doc says they’re very healthy. Don’t worry so much, okay? Everything’s going to be—”

My words were cut off when I felt pain in my belly that stood out from the fruitless Braxton hicks I’d been having on and off for weeks. Eugeo stood up and leaned over to look at me. He looked even more worried now.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked. “Your grip just got really tight.”

I winced.

“That…that didn’t feel like hicks…” I said.

Eugeo went straight into panic mode. He was paging a doctor before I could even get another word out of my mouth. The doctor was in the room in a flash, checking on me and seeing what all was going on. She said it did appear as if the labor pains weren’t hicks this time, and she’d keep an eye on whether or not she thought I could deliver without a C-section.

Of course, there was nothing she could do until I was further along in labor. I was stuck sitting there until my water broke or I paged them again because something felt wrong. I would have gotten up to walk around, but I was at the point where I couldn’t hold myself up, so that option was out. All I could do was lay there in pain while Eugeo held my hand.

“It’s so soon…but I’m so ready for this to be over,” I said, laughing at myself. “I’m just worried something will go wrong after what they said earlier.”

Eugeo brushed my hair out of my face and cupped my cheek.

“Everything’s going to be fine,” he said. “We’re going to meet our kids soon.”

I chuckled.

“All but one,” I said.

He smiled and continued to stroke my hair.

“Yes, this little girl isn’t coming out anytime soon,” he told me. “She’s gonna stay put until it’s much safer.”

I gave him a pointed look.

“That’s not fair at all,” I said. “I was trying to get in the safe zone, too.”

He reached over and patted my belly.

“No offense, but I think if you got any bigger than this you would have been in a bit of medical danger,” he said. “You’re amazing to have made it even this far. But I want my whole family to be safe, not just my kids, Kirito.”

I smiled at him and nodded. He had a point. If this went any longer, it was a danger for me, too. I had to remember that. Now that it was time regardless of what I thought, I had to just hang in here for the final stretch. I held onto his hand for as long as I could. It didn’t take very long for my water to break—at least that’s what the doctor said. It felt like days to me. Eugeo had to tell me that it was only a few hours.

Of course, it didn’t take very long for them to decide that a C-section was needed. I was honestly irritated by that; they’d been trying to decide that for days and were leaning towards it, only to try and go ahead with natural birth as soon as I went into labor. They told me that Eugeo shouldn’t be present during a surgical operation, which I loudly protested, but really had no choice in the matter.

It was a very long few hours, to say in the least.

By the time they let him back in, I felt so exhausted just from the sheer length of the process. The nurse on hand told me that he’d be allowed to meet the babies sooner than he would have been able to see me again after being patched up. I figured that was fine, so long as they’d let me see him and the babies as soon as possible after I was properly sewn up. So, seeing him enter the room felt like a breath of fresh air.

“There you are,” I said, reaching an arm out to him.

Eugeo smiled at me. I realized he was holding one of the babies in his arms. I sat up too quick and felt my head swim a little. He laughed and waved for me to calm down. I don’t know that he understood quite yet—he would soon, though. When he reached the bedside, he told me to put my arms out. He set the little bundle down in my arms.

“This one’s the oldest,” Eugeo told me. “Two girls and three boys.”

The baby in my arms was so tiny it was hard to think that he was a part of the reason I was so big. Eugeo turned to take another one of the babies in his arms. He threw me off when he handed me the second one. I couldn’t help but laugh. There were two babies on my chest—and then there were three. It felt overwhelming, in a sense. There wasn’t just one little miracle to behold here—there were _five_. Eugeo had two in his arms. I felt tears on my cheeks.

“Can you believe this?” I said, laughing. “I’m holding them, and I still can’t wrap my mind around it.”

Eugeo laughed. He was crying, too.

“You did a good job,” he said.

I chuckled.

“I guess we can’t play guess how many anymore, can we?” I asked.

He shook his head.

“Definitely not,” he said, still laughing.


	8. Juggling the Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I think this will wrap up in a chapter or two. I kinda intend to work on it until it's done because I have so many fics piling up in my cue! ;-; This one is the closest to finishing, so I will go ahead and add the rest to lower my stress~~!

Transitioning into our life with five newborns and a sixth soon to follow was about as difficult as you might expect. I lost a lot of mobility while I healed up from surgery and the toll it took on my body. The babies needed extra attention because they were born so early. By the time all six of us were released from the hospital, I already felt exhausted with this parenting thing. We were all living at home by the time Eugeo hit close to the safe zone for delivery. With him at thirty-three weeks, we had hopefully a little bit of time to get things sorted out before number six arrived.

It was mostly hard to figure out how to make sure every baby got what they needed in a timely fashion. If all five started crying at the same time, it was a disaster. And what was worse—Eugeo couldn’t tell them apart like I could. So, if I asked for one baby, he might hand me the wrong one. Or he would slip one’s onesie on the other one. We’d had them personalized to help him with such, but as soon as we took them off, he was back to being as confused as ever.

Safe to say, he had a lot of learning to do when telling them apart was instinctual for me.

“It’s not that hard,” I was saying. “They’re not even identical.”

He pressed one hand to the bridge of his nose and shook his head for a moment, and then he shoved more cookies in his mouth. They were triple chocolate chip: a cookie that was chocolate itself, and had white and dark chocolate chips mixed into them. Alice had made an entire plate out of the kindness of her heart. (Or perhaps just to laugh at how much he could pack away in his gut). He’d been having a really bad chocolate fever for the last few days. I chuckled and leaned over to plant a kiss on his cheek. He returned the gesture by giving me one of his cookies.

“You need to eat,” he said. “For someone that just pushed out five humans around a month ago, you look like skin and bones.”

I took a bite out of the cookie and hummed. Alice truly was a master chef. Between her and Asuna, we ate like kings. I shook my head, trying to refocus on what Eugeo was talking about. This was no time to be distractedly thinking about food.

“That is pretty weird, all things considered,” I said, laughing. “I’m still very glad to have my mobility back. My gut was always in the way, which was pretty annoying. And my back was killing me.”

Eugeo frowned and glanced down at his belly. I think he must have thought that since he only had one baby, he had no right to complain. I reached over and cupped his belly with my hand. After so long of looking rather tiny, he finally had a rather round bump. It was likely uncomfortable and in the way to him, too. His back had to be killing him as well, but he wouldn’t so much as offer a breath of complaint. It was equal parts admirable and sad. I gave him another kiss on the cheek.

“Can I pamper you at all?” I asked, using my best teasing voice.

Eugeo gave me a funny look. It was one of those looks he’d give me when he disapproved of something I was doing, but in a very loving way. The ‘I love you with all my heart, Kirito, but please—behave!’ sort of look he’d give when I was up to any sort of dangerous thing or risky shenanigans. I wondered what about this offer made him make such a face. I grinned at him, hoping that it would soften whatever harsh comment he needed to deal me.

“I know you’re completely exhausted,” he said. “You need to get your rest, not to worry about me.”

I sighed dramatically.

“But dearest, the children are all finally asleep and I only get so long to treat you like a prince,” I said, fully committing myself to my nonsense. “What kind of a knight neglects his liege in this way, pray tell?”

Despite his words, I could feel him fighting hard to resist. I had to keep myself from chuckling for a moment as I gently grabbed him by his shoulders and laid him down sideways in my lap so I could reach his back. I pressed my hand against the small of his back, where I knew the most strain would be felt, and started massaging him. He was incapable of holding back the groan that escaped his lips. I finally chuckled to myself.

“I knew it,” I said. “That’s the spot, isn’t it?”

He nodded his head and chewed on another cookie. His expression looked perfectly peaceful. I smiled and continued to massage his back. He hummed contentedly, clearly unable to tell me to stop.

“Three more weeks and you’re in the safe zone,” I reassured him. “If she’s ready to come then, let her.”

He opened his mouth to protest, probably thinking as well as I was about the addition of another newborn to the chaos, but it would be chaos at the end whether she came early, on time, or a little late. We both had to just accept that she would come when she would come. And I hoped that Eugeo understood my feelings on that. He shouldn’t panic if she came before her due date; he should just let it happen and focus on safely delivering her.

“Until then, Kirito,” he mumbled. “Let’s just take things one step at a time and not panic.”

I nodded.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “We’ve got this.”

Famous last words.


	9. Eugeo's Nervous Breakdowns Are Unpredictable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I told ya'll I'd be wrapping this up as fast as I could! Await the final installment soon...

List of things I am not prepared to deal with: five babies and a nervous wreck of a boyfriend.

The closer we got to Eugeo’s due date, the more of a mess I noticed he was becoming. Apparently, he hadn’t paid attention to that “don’t panic” part of our discussions, because he started getting antsy, worried, and, worst of all, extraordinarily energetic. I’m talking he would pace around the apartment and clean things, rearrange things, butt into other people’s chores—the whole nine yards. The guy was losing his mind.

Something that significantly increased with his nerves was his appetite. I don’t know how many times I told him he needed to put down the snacks. Every time I ran into him, he was eating something. Junk food, healthy snack, full course meal—you name it. He was constantly packing away food. So, it was no surprise to me that when a noise woke me in the middle of the night (with my newfound ability to snap awake if someone so much as breathed the wrong way), it was to walk in on Eugeo waddling in a circle in the kitchen shoving cheese balls in his mouth.

“Babe…it’s like three in the morning…” I mumbled.

Eugeo stopped pacing and turned to face me. He blinked at me for a moment, and then he shuffled over to me to drop his forehead on my shoulder and start stress-crying. I sleepily wrapped my arms around him and rubbed his back while he worked the hormones and stress out of his system, all the while making quite the cheesy mess of my nightshirt. When he stopped crying, I ran my fingers through his hair.

“I’m…I’m so tired…” he wailed.

I laughed to myself and rocked him gently back and forth.

“I know you are, Eugeo,” I said. “I know you’re tired.”

He nodded.

“And I…I can’t even sleep,” he continued. “Every time I shut my eyes, she…she wakes me back up again…and I’m…I’m so tired…I’m so…so tired…”

He clutched my shirt tighter and started to hiccup. I suppose he’d eaten too fast. I gently pulled him up away from me to get a good look at him. Of the large container of cheese balls, there was about a quarter of the container remaining. Or less. We’d just bought a new one, and it was one of those huge containers, too. I’d hoped that buying such a large one would save the rest of us some snacks, but Eugeo’s stomach certainly got the best of us. I laughed and picked up a napkin to wipe his face off.

“Easy on the cheese balls, buddy,” I said, setting down the napkin and then ruffling his hair.

Eugeo’s eyes twitched and his brow scrunched up like he was about to cry again. I cupped his face in my hands and smiled at him. Now probably wasn’t a good time to tell him that his cheeks had really rounded out. Well, his cheeks weren’t the _only_ spot on him that had gained a bit of weight. In truth, he looked rather adorable with such chubby cheeks, but he would be mad if I told him that.

“Hey,” I said. “Listen.”

He sniffled and nodded.

“You’re doing an amazing job,” I said. “I know you’re stressed out because the baby could come any day now, but you’re doing wonderful. It’s okay to take a deep breath and let yourself be excited about this.”

Eugeo nodded a little bit, but then his eyes dropped down to stare at the floor.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

His shoulders scrunched up to match his face.

“I’m scared…” he mumbled.

I tilted my head at him.

“What are you scared of?” I asked.

He reached up with one hand and grasped the back of one of mine. He squeezed it gently.

“Does it hurt?” he asked quietly.

I did my best not to laugh. I suppose that after having gone into labor and then having had a c-section, the scariest bit was behind me. But for him, he’d never delivered a baby before—this was his first time, too. He looked back up at me with tear-filled eyes.

“Am I going to do okay?” he asked. “What if something happens?”

I pulled him into a tight hug and started to rub his back again.

“You are going to do just fine,” I told him, using my best reassuring tone. “It’s a little scary at first, but I know you are going to be okay and that you and our daughter will both be healthy and happy on the other end of this.”

I dropped one hand down to rub his belly.

“She’s gonna be fine, Eugeo,” I said. “I know she will. Our whole family is going to be okay.”

He clung to me a bit tighter and resumed sobbing. I wanted to remind him that our roommates and five, month-old babies were still sound asleep, but I don’t think even sympathy for growing infants could stop him from crying so fiercely. This was a man driven to the edge: he was tired, pregnant, and probably hungry. I owed it to him to allow him the space to cry on my shoulder for now.

“K-Kirito…” Eugeo cried.

I hummed and ruffled the hair at the base of his neck.

“I gotcha, buddy,” I said.

He shook his head and mumbled something I couldn’t understand. His face was directly planted in my shirt. I frowned down at him and kept stroking his hair.

“What was that?” I asked. “I can’t hear you when you’re talking into my pecs.”

He lifted his head up, and suddenly I noticed he was shaking.

“There’s another reason I’m scared,” he said.

I frowned.

“And what is that?” I asked. “Can I help you out at all?”

Eugeo bit his lip and reached down to clutch his belly. He opened his mouth to say something, and then it happened: his water broke. All over the floor…

…and myself.


	10. In Conclusion, We Still Need Some Communication Practice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And this will mark the end of our regularly scheduled tomfoolery-

Like I said, there’s a fine line between communication and _good_ communication.

A miscommunication landed Eugeo and I on quite the ride, I have to say. At the end of the day, maybe talking beforehand would have left us with about five less kids—or one, considering if I had been the only one pregnant, we still might have ended up with multiples. Who’s to say that just one of us doing it would have cut down the resulting chaos? Truly, there’s no way we’ll ever know.

Now, if you asked me whether or not I regretted this mishap? I’d have to say no. Even though to start, six infants was a bit of a hassle and we did require a lot of help from friends and family to make sure all of our kids were well taken care of, we love our family very deeply. I wouldn’t go back and change a thing. Our kids are brilliant, happy, and creative. They certainly also make a fun group to play Mariokart with. They’re all a blessing to have, even if they leave us with very little sleep.

And often, they leave Aunt Suguha with even _less_ sleep when they stay with her.

After we both were sufficiently healed up, Eugeo and I decided to save up to take care of the chances of another mishap like this happening—we both, in turn, got hysterectomies. Which honestly, that worked in our favors since it was a part of transition _anyways._ There would be no more babies coming from either of us, and the chances of us walking in and announcing another dual pregnancy was thus rendered nil.

We still don’t do everything perfect. The number of times we’ve both pulled up at school to pick up the kids is rather embarrassing. We lean out of the window at one another and back and forth for a bit over who was supposed to pick them up that day. The kids find it rather exciting—they get to choose whose van to pile into. Some days, it’s a pretty even split; other days, one of us playfully teases the other when every single child still picks the same van despite there being the option of extra leg space if they split up.

There’s plenty of other little miscommunications, too. Mismatched outfits. Incorrect takeout orders. That one time Eugeo asked me to not go investigate what was rummaging outside and I thought he asked me to specifically go and do that, so I wound up with a cat flying out of the garage and giving me what for. When we swapped the kids backpacks because we couldn’t remember whose was whose, and Yushiro ended up with Genryou’s lunch, and Genryou then had Kirin’s, and Kirin was wailing that she had Ichigo’s, and Ichigo very gladly consumed all of Sanzo’s, and somehow the only one who called was Hiromu, who declared she didn’t have _anyone’s_ lunch at all. (Sanzo apparently had both Yushiro’s and Hiromu’s, and also apparently sold one to a classmate and got in trouble for it).

Life won’t be perfect. Miscommunications are a part of life, whether we try really hard to avoid them or not. Even the most attentive people, like Asuna and Alice, manage to mix things up from time to time. I must say, though, that not every miscommunication leads you to six children and a very frazzled husband, but you get what I mean.

And hey, our wedding had quite the crowd of little toddler helpers. It was really cute. I’m not saying you _should_ accidentally have six kids in one go, but the benefits can be some really adorable wedding photos.

Did we learn something from this? I guess you could say that. We learned what miscommunication can do, but we also learned that sometimes, small blessings come from such. So, I would perhaps conclude the experience as more enlightening on how a miscommunication, however initially frustrating and complicated, can change your life in a positive way in the end.

“So, a night of peace, huh?”

I glanced up over my shoulder and smiled at Eugeo.

“Well, maybe a few more than that,” I said, chuckling. “Unless you’re trying to say that I’ll disturb your peace.”

Eugeo blinked at me.

“What are you talking about?” he said. “We only have Suguha watching the kids for tonight.”

I blinked back at him.

“But our hotel reservation is for the full weekend,” I said. “Remember?”

He shook his head.

“You asked for me to get her to watch them for tonight,” he said. “Specifically tonight.”

I buried my face in my hands.

“So, the kids will have free reign of the house for two days?” I groaned.

Eugeo sighed behind me.

“Kiritooooo…” he moaned.

Hey.

I never claimed we were professionals at this communication thing.

Did I?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As an afterword, I'd like to thank everyone who read this silly idea. While it's fairly short for a story, I think as a joke it wound up being longer than I expected it to be! Hopefully, that's a good thing, and the silly image of these two flubbing up like this maybe got some giggles. I'd like to thank/blame Ami from Discord for the idea, and I'd like to thank Max from Discord for adding in some of his own suggestions beyond hers. And of course, I'd like to thank my readers, who stuck with me even when I wrote something as silly as this. I don't know that I'll write more crack in the future, but I will continue to write SAO fics, and I hope to have the continued support of SAO fans as I share my love of SAO here on AO3!!


End file.
